I want to be less stupid, more competent?
Category: Baby Patterns
At work I tend to be babied by my supervisors, who are keen to remind me of minor task details and correct silly mistakes. I’m the work dummy, but I give myself credit for admitting this. I hate that I can’t do the right thing. I know my workmates think I’m a slow ditz and I wish I could change. I have no apparent strengths or talents – nothing special stands out in my resume, for instance. I can’t drive (failed two driving tests and have a phobia of fast moving cars). I’m afraid of flying, afraid of numbers, bills, social settings, people – I’ve been bullied all my life. I’m well aware of that pattern – people seeing my vulnerabilities and taking me for granted. But I know it’s my fault. I say and do enough ditzy things to warrant that sort of attention. My self hygiene and organization skills suck too.
I lie to cover my faults. I lie so much that some of my lies beome truths in my mind. I’m much older than I look (People think I’m 30 when I’m only 23 – well, duh, being fat adds a more than a couple more years by default). I forget things, miss details, have a stammer and cannot utter coherent sentences articulately. Never had a boyfriend.
Please don’t preach the gospel of self-confidence to me. Action and results always improve self-confidence, and this is what I want. Feel free to pick a fault – fear, competence improvement, weight, looks, speech, people skills – and give me steps to improvement. Whatever the forte, I’m here to listen.
well you do have the fact that you can type a bunch as a positive thing
well…u have good word choice
Mix more with other people,such as taking an evening class or something. Sooner or later you’re going to find you’re not the only joker in the pack.
People often put you down to make themselves feel a bit bigger, don’t let them fool you.
You’re quite well spoken and can compose a compelling story. I’d look for a small local paper and see if you could talk them into letting you do a weekly column. Anything to start. Even the old ladies knitting club or something. Your obvious self-awareness can work to your advantage in the journalistic field as you’d be more likely to focus on your subject as you’d prefer to divert the attention away from yourself. Turn your writing talents away from your shortcomings to a subject. I think it would work for you.
Start from thinking good and positive about urself. Remember its a law of nature that As u think so u become. So ling u have been thinking negative about urself which has resulted in ur such a dull character. Now on think positive and good about urself , the way u want urself to be. Just practice this daily continuously. Things will surely start changing. But have a little patience too.